i'd kill for a glance
make this go away
i don't like these thoughts
swarming bees fucking with my brain
jittery and shocked out of fear
quivering voice and sweating palms
end this all
make me quit
i don't want this
i'll throw that mirror
so get it out of my face
i can't stand to look
see myself
why do i expect you to stand me?
i'd press that blade to my arm
but then remember that scent
fucking thing is rusty
old habits
gone
i promise
check my wrists and see no faint lines
not the slightest cut
but that's not my only motive to release this all
push you away
torture myself
see everyone with smiles so big and shiny
know i didn't cause it
i should give up
no more giving a shit
last time i will only think "just fuck it"

my hand's not broken
it's only throbbing
you made my heart beat too fast for it to control itself
my fist is just red from some crazy thing
making my heart beat
racing faster
blood stopping still
collecting in my hand
warming it so my touch won't remind you of death.