go right ahead
think you can brand me
mark me up as the rest
stamp my forehead to match the rest
all of them
those wretched people "like me"
you wish we were the same
all alike for you to lable and catigorize
it'd be easier that way
rape the weakened defenceless
the tired from fighting back for so long
bury the bitch after the fights been taken out of her
hope the dirt muffles her cries
dig her up for show when you feel the need to exploit her
to reap the benefits she bares
the fruit on her withered branches
dress her like a queen
act as though you pay her the respect
once they turn their backs
you steal the respect back in a flash
ignore the gleam in her eyes
the pain you put her through
claiming it's for her own good
devouring her fruit
abusing limbs
tearing off branch after branch
just to beat her with them
laugh at the joke of her demise
laugh it all off
bury her again
dig her up only to reap her benefits.
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i've just now figured out what it is that confuses me about your poems.
ReplyDeleteyou use different metaphors. you start out comparing the person to an animal (at least, branding is usually associated with animals), and then go into comparing them to a tree.
if you're going to use a metaphor, i'd suggest deciding on one and running with it. it may bring it together, instead of having it sound disjointed.
but, if you still want 2 metaphors, i'd suggest making 2 separate stanzas.