1/26/08

tis a spell
tis only a damn spell.
so cruel and harsh
yet a sweet loving spell.
i think much too much.
look into stories for deeper meaning,
over-looking the troubles i ended up causing.
a whirl wind of tragedy
sweep through the town over night,
only i never saw it,
because my nature i'd fight.

born for the night,
to roam free and the abyss no one could see through,
slip under the radar,
sneak into a house,
merge.
fuse.
melt into it.

i suddenly lived for the day.
that light caught me off guard,
it was more beautiful than i had been told.
drawn to the sun.
lured by a glance.
breath taking,
word bumbling.
a bright fiery hell
i had never once before sought.
this disposition put my life on the line.

the seconds i could be alone with the sun,
felt so perfect.
warming and calm.
loving, and sweet.
yet still so strong.
a potent dose,
left me still in awe.

a memory foam matress.
you pressed yourself so close,
and i pressed back.
absorbing every part of you i could.
everytime you'd leave,
i'd still feel you pressed to me.
slowly pulling away.

never wanting to leave.
but just
pulling away.
everytime you've said it,
i wouldn't let it sink in.
i turned to rock to drown it out.
i bite my lip everytime i feel someone near by.
i cringe at your name.
remembering these fresh pains.
this last time
i just couldn't take it.
the water running over me still affected me.
the other rocks hitting me beat away at me slowly.

once again,
i find my sleeping out of control.
i still wake for the sun in the morning.
my nature is trying to be in control again,
sleep in the day,
be complacent in your presence.
no cares in the world,
just to slip through the abyss of night.
snipishly rejected,
a mourning growl of anguish.
i can't let go,
and my nature wants control.
i have no reason to be awake this much.
running in circles trying to find something to do,
anything.
occupy my time with their issues,
work my mind into a frenzied death,
no piece of mind or heart,
ever again to be left.