just blink 3 times

and this time
you poured the oil
stood below waiting
hoping
wanting me to slip.

before,
oh the times before,
i jumped
dove down
hoping you'd see me and catch me
save me from the pain i'd feel
the searing, eye watering, pain
frozen and alone
fired up from falling
trying to heal the cuts and pains
rid myself of them before anyone saw

still i found myself presistant
i jumped again
dove to the depths
i fell again
i was hurt again

this was so different
i was just happening by
finally getting away from this crowd who was suffocating me
just as they caught up with me
hounding out my trail
i fell
i slipped on the oil
falling down
spiralling to my 3rd painful death
the death i knew was coming
the death that would mark me finished with you completely
and suddenly i stopped falling
suddenly something caught me
suddenly all i could see was you and me
suddenly...
yes
it all happened so suddenly

misleading thoughts

flamboyant rose
bright and attractive
delicate and sweet
do anything to touch it
feel the satin sheet sides
purfumed budd
taste the velvet
lick the petals
kiss it softly
pick the rose
so vibrant in color
craddle it in your gentle arms
hide it from the wind's violent curses
hold it close, just out of the the cold's chilling grip
shelid it from the spitting honesty the rain pours in its ears
the rose is your's to love and keep safe

suddenly you see vermilion fluid drip from your hand
all along, you aren't the one in control
it is not as it seems
the rose is the one who claims you

cowardice [written 12/1/08]

lost souls to be found
secrets be told
dead men tells tales
creeps down your spine
shudder at the cold touch
breath on thr nape of your neck
squeeze eyes closed tight
rant
ramble
tell all in mumbles and shudders
squeaky voice trembling
too scared to let loose
the beast must be caged
keep the front up
follow the stereotype,
the preset,
piss off the tiger to hide the cub
cowering tail hidden
teeth beared and glistening
small one.
act tough.
just keep covering the truth up.
hide the weak
afraid to be vulnerable
lay on you side to remain in high defence,
hide it all
bury the weak
feel the cold touch
the secrets slipping through your lips
tales glide their dead cold hands down your back
ice skating in hell
squeeze your eyes closed
banish the thought
grind your teeth
hold back
feeling exhausted
can't keep it back
the secrets are slipping
tripping out
breaking free
see the tiger hurt in the end.
lost souls,
pulling you in, pealing themselves out.